I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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