All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
