I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
