My boss' voice literally gives me gas
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
