Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
