My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
