Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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