So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
