you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Rumble strips road head = magical
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
