yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
