There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
