So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
