My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
