Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
