Dual....:-)
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
