So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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