why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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