I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
