i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
