went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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