No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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