He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
