If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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