She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
