I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
