hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
