Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
