So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
be right there i have to get my cape
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
