I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Randomize
