Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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