can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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