I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
