I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Ketchup is God's man juice
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
