That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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