the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
