Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
