He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
