dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
