We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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