Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
please come you make the beer taste better
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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