I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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