You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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