2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
