i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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