he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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