yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
