tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
