I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
