Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
