My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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