he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
