Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
